and then it blew up in my face

went a day and a half with having a good day, was able to laugh and joke and feel ok. the last night it blew up in my face at the kids halloween party. all it took was being around the loud noise, and the balloons popping, and screaming girls who didnt want a toy gun aimed at them. Course no one else saw what i saw, they didnt think it was a problem. HELLO you dont allow that type of stuff. so it made me edgy, No structure didnt help either. The kids were not listening at all. I just couldnt handle it. Was able to help two kids and that was it when they needed a friend. So it made me agitated. I wont be going and helping with another party at all.then my dad pissed me off and set me off by teling me where he was going and what he ws doing. cable got shut off in the middle of the night. and now its taking forever to turn it on. the urge to cutt is there, and though i promised someone i wouldnt its still there.