black out

i know i had a memory today of wayne, during this time of year i always remember him, it was during this time of year that i was with him. He was the worst i ever had, but i kept going back to him, i didnt know better. the memory was bad enough i dont remember being at church, or going to the store to check my bloodpressure, or coming home. this is riduclous.
to try to stay current is been impossible i had to write 2008 on my white boards, to remind me. i hope the doctor can give me something for the anxiety during the day. and tell me how to deal with the memories, if not jay and i will be working back on them and im afraid that will set me off again..........................