opening of pandoras box

going to therapy, making good progress i guess, some things come out that have been needed to come out for a long time.............. but now that the memories are flooding out, and we are tring to get stablization, to function, the news comes that ill have to start paying. which i should be lucky t only pay a small fee, but no income equals no money right now. we open pandoras box of memories, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, and now because i cant afford it i have to clos those memories off somehow and try to live >??? how does that work??? because so far it hasnt worked. wWhat good is having a grant that is supposed to give free counseling and not use it.