i dont know why i cant keep current

frustrations, and anger abound
cant stay in the current year, time means nothing. and if i do do somthing then it has to be precisly on time and to the minute. I dont know why it is that way. I know it should seem i should be able to stay current in the year but not with my mothers voice in my head the memories of her yelling at me for being sick, the memories of her yelling at me for taking medications, I want to get better im trying i really am.............. im overwhelemed with the kitchen it hasnt been kept up since i washed a few dishes on whatever day it was, dad is supposed to help most of those arent even mine. I dont know where to start, had to have a neightbor come and help me organize my food pantry, we put stuff i needed for tomrrow in a box to make it easier. I dunno why i cant do simple things, its like im learning all over again on how to do things. or even what to do. I dont understand the first step to process anything.
it was easier in the hospital. didnt have anything to worry about other then the times they told you where to be and what you were going to be doing. I dont understand im confused.